Wait, you say. Can't God do everything? Actually there are tons of things he can't do. Don't believe it? Then you've gotta read this.
1.God can't get tired.
Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary.—Isaiah 40:28
2.God can't take on a job he can't handle.
Ah, Lord God! Behold, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. There is nothing too hard for you.—Jeremiah 32:17
3.God can't be unholy.
And one cried to another and said: "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!"—Isaiah 6:3
4.God can't be prejudiced.
In truth I perceive that God shows no partiality. But in every nation whoever fears him and works righteousness is accepted by him.—Acts 10:34-35
5.God can't break a promise.
My covenant I will not break, nor alter the word that has gone out of my lips.—Psalm 89:34
6.God can't remember sins he's chosen to forget.
I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake; and I will not remember your sins.—Isaiah 43:25
7.God can't make a loser.
Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ.—2 Corinthians 2:14
8.God can't abandon you.
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, he is the one who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.—Deuteronomy 31:6
9.God can't stop thinking about you.
How precious also are your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with you.—Psalm 139:17-18
10.God can't stop loving you.
Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.—Jeremiah 31:3
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I just wanted to add a few more of my favorite inspirational verses from the Holy Holy Book:
11. God will give you hemorrhoids."Behold with a great plague will the LORD smite thy people and thy children, and thy wives, and all thy goods: And thou shalt have great sickness by disease of thy bowels, until thy bowels fall out by reason of the sickness day by day. (II Chronicles 21:14-15)
12. God says that eating human feces is OK."And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight. And the LORD said, Even thus shall the children of Israel eat their defiled bread among the Gentiles, whither I will drive them." (Ezekiel 4:12-13)
13. Biblical porn"Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt. For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses." (Ezekiel 23: 19-21)
14. Misogyny rocks."Of the woman came the beginning of sin, and through her we all die." (Eccles. 25:22)
15. Burning whores is OK."And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire." (Leviticus 21:9)
16. God kills black people, and enjoys it."So the LORD smote the Ethiopians before Asa, and before Judah; and the Ethiopians fled." (II Chronicles 14:12)
17. Eat your children."And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters, which the LORD they God hath given thee, in the siege, and in the straightness, wherewith thine enemies shall distress thee." (Deuteronomy 28:53)
18. Slavery is just fine with the almighty, benevolent God."As for the male and female slaves whom you may have, it is from the nations around you that you may aquire male and female slaves." (Leviticus 25:44, NRSV)
19. God will steal your wives and let your neighbors have sex with them."This said the LORD, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun." (II Samuel 12:11)
20. Killing children will make you happy, says God."Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones." (Psalms 137:9, KJV)
Just a few of my favorites from that Holy Holy Book... little aphorisms that help me through my darkest moments. In closing, here's another inspirational quote that readers of this blog might enjoy:
"There was a time when religion ruled the world. It is known as The Dark Ages."
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